When the search for truth turns into anxiety

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“I was devastated, I was in a deep depression. Everything felt black, I’m not sure I want to tell you all of it I don’t want you to feel the same”. Ella had doubts concerning the COVID-19 pandemic, things didn’t make sense to her, so she did her own research. In the next two months, she dived deep and searched for the truth that is not to be found on the mainstream media. The information she had found was hard to contain. It’s the worldwide scam, the lies, the misinformation, one world order, the collaborations of doctors, the systemic control over people, forced vaccinations and what not.

It is easy to get anxious or depressed from all these horrors. Which are breaking our sense of security and deteriorating our trust in the systems. But, whether the information we read is true or not our emotional reaction to the information already kicks in. The anxiety is already prevalent. Anxiety is a fear of fear, it’s a fear from something that is not affecting us at the moment, but has the potential to do so.

Many people like Ella, when feeling anxious tend to continue to looking – and finding – more. We do that in order to understand more, to examine the information, to feel secure (at least in our knowledge of what’s going on). The feeling in the body is heavy, the heart beats fast and things that usually make us happy are no longer doing that. Life is painted in shades of black. Although in our daily lives very little has changed, the feeling after reading this information transfers us into a horror movie.

One possible and I think the most common response to anxiety from the news is to not read, not know in order to avoid the feelings that anxiety brings with it. This method has its cracks because even when you turn away from it, it still knocks on your door and penetrates your awareness. Ignorance doesn’t prevent what is happening in the world from affecting us and doesn’t help us respond in an effective way.

Another very common strategy is to dive into the rabbit hole, into the depths of information to capture every little bit of it and supposedly, put together an image that is the truth. The desire to know more and more and be on top of it, to have as sense of control over what is happening. This truth is supposed to give us a sense of connection with reality as it is and even some inner peace. “I know the truth, I’m nobody’s fool,” “I won’t go like a sheep to the slaughter”. This strategy has its own problems as it produces a loop of anxiety. We’re trying to understand and gain control of our lives but in practice, the more information we’re exposed to the less in control we feel. In practice, the anxiety deepens.

Both of these strategies are responses to information, one is in avoiding it and the other is in diving into it. As if all that matters is the information, its correctness or wrongness.

There is a third, radically different strategy. Instead of putting our the mental energy on knowing what’s going on, we can put some of the focus on our emotional processing and fulfilling our need for safety and security. Anxiety itself is a warning flag, it is a sign from the body that we have important needs that are not being addressed. In this case the need for security.

When you read an article that “drowns” you in anxiety, that produces a lump in your throat, tense shoulders, shallow breathing and a feeling that your whole world has shrunk to a point and everything is painted black, you can dive into what you feel. Instead of rejecting these feelings, instead of ignoring their existence, instead of continuing to read and adding fuel to the fire, instead of analyzing the situation or rushing to come up with conclusions –

You just let your feelings and sensations be.

You notice that the energy in the body goes to the shoulders and the body contracts and you stay with it. It is critical and important information that comes from deep places that want to protect you, it comes from your subconscious, an early response to a state of danger.

A very important mental change is happening here. Instead of rejecting and resisting what is happening, you are surrendering. The relaxation of letting go produces something special and exciting. The anxiety changes, it turns from “Life is awful and there’s nothing to live for” to “Oh, I have strong energy in me that cries out to be heard.” Listen carefully. It matters. It’s not the information out there that matter. The call that arises from within and guides us on how to be the masters of our lives,

A very important mental change is happening here. Instead of rejecting and resisting what is happening, you are surrendering. The relaxation of letting go produces something special and exciting. The anxiety changes, it turns from “Life is awful and there’s nothing to live for” to “Oh, I have strong energy in me that cries out to be heard.” Listen carefully. It matters. It’s not the information out there that matter. The call that arises from within and guides us on how to be the masters of our lives. This wise anxiety tells you to stop, it’s telling you that something big is happening here and you are suddenly present that it has a place within you. It doesn’t become you. The anxiety is no longer painting everything. It just one part of all the parts that are you.

This wise anxiety tells you to stop, it’s telling you that something big is happening here and you are suddenly present that it has a place within you. It doesn’t become you. The anxiety is no longer painting everything. It just one part of all the parts that are you.

Suddenly, you realize that instead of the news controlling you and your feelings, you have returned to the leader’s seat and taken control back in your hands. You now feel grateful to the anxiety for reminding you of what is important to you. That you are important to you.

And now that you have calmed down and are breathing deeply again into your lower belly, it’s time to remember that you are actually no less important than the news you are reading. It’s time to ask yourself: What is important? What basic need of mine isn’t being met?

Our needs are security, love, uniqueness, intimacy, touch, nourishment, health, fulfilment.

There is no such need as a “knowing the truth.” The search for truth can be an attempt to fulfil the need for security or to fulfil the need to be special or healthy. Just as there is no need such as “money.” Money is a means to get your needs met. And just like with money, knowing the truth is often confused with the goal itself.

To discover the real need, you may want to ask yourself what is important to you and keep asking several times until you get deep enough.

For example:

What is important to me? It’s important to me to not be lied to. Why is it important to me not to be lied to? Because to live a lie is to not live. Why is living a lie not living? Because there is uncertainty in a life of lies and I feel lost. Why is it important to me that there be certainty? Certainty is security. And we have reached the need for security that we’re trying to address by seeking certainty in the news.

Another thing is hidden here that it is important for me to live. There is a desire to live! What is it like to be alive for me? Enjoy this moment. Do you enjoy this moment?

Now that there is a focus on what is important to you and what motivates you, you can think of other ways to fulfil your need for security. For example, focusing on your body and exercising it increases actual confidence. It may not make sense, but the feeling of security does increase. Meditation also does that. Any action you take in the direction of what you believe in increases your sense of personal security.

The desire for certainty and the absence of certainty is a dynamic that we dance around all our lives. There is no certainty in life. We produce false feelings of certainty by buying life insurance, by working a permanent job, by accumulating money in the bank, by maintaining a relationship and practicing routine. We seek security and certainty in a world that is changing faster than our brains can get it. However, our very ability to live in uncertainty, to relax into the discomfort, to stay with the tension that uncertainty produces – produces a sense of security and sustainability that no information in the world can give you.

Practicing staying in discomfort, allowing & accepting overwhelming emotions, identifying your true needs and taking effective action is the key to healthy coping with any information that comes your way. In addition, this quiet and private action actually contributes to the world, instead of being anxious and increasing the power of anxiety in the world. You become a source of light to everyone around you. Accept your anxiety with love and it will empower you from within as nothing has empowered you to this day.

And now, as you feel empowered, aware of your true needs, feel secure in the face of uncertainty, and are in a high state of consciousness, free from fear, new possibilities open up for you to think further about essential and philosophical questions.

Is it more moral to foribly vaccinate the majority of the population in order to protect the minority? Or is it more moral to let nature take its course and risk the health of the minority to protect the freedom of the majority? Which is more important, freedom or safety, majority or minority? Can both be equally important?


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@yaelfiner